Take a deep breath and tackle it one room at a time.
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We’ve all been there — every now and then you look up from your laptop and realize your whole space is a mess and a half.
Let’s go from room to room and tackle this messy lil’ adventure together. First things first — here’s what you need to tackle the kitchen.
1. A set of dishwasher cleaning tablets you can pop into a cycle with your dirty dishes to wipe out all the extra grime and that funky smell, all without ever having to touch a sponge or any other kind of cleaning utensil.
2. A fume-free oven cleaner that will loosen up all those stains overnight — plus it’s gentle enough that you don’t need protective gloves to use it, but tough enough that it’ll erase the evidence of all your baking misadventures and that time you fell asleep while cooking pizza rolls.
3. A set of Bottle Bright tablets so you can tackle all the sludge caked on your automatic kettle, coffee maker, or favorite ceramic mugs.
4. An “Angry Mama” microwave cleaner that uses vinegar and water to blow hot steam into your microwave oven and loosen up all the old food and stains in a mere seven minutes.
5. A foaming garbage disposal cleaner you can plop into your sink, run a little water on, and let its blue magic fizz its way up to the top while clearing out all the gunk from your culinary adventures in one go.
6. A bottle of Bar Keepers Friend soft cleansing liquid and scouring cloth to quickly take care of even long-term, caked-on stains on everything from steel appliances to pans to stove tops to sinks — *without* scratching surfaces.
7. A glass and ceramic cookware cleanup kit that comes with heavy-duty scrubber, a razor blade, *and* a cleaner specifically designed to get at those caked-on stains, so you can knock it all off in a few minutes and get your Ina Garten game face on in peace.
8. A set of stainless-steel cleaner and polish wipes to give all your impossible-to-clean kitchen appliances that brand-new, streak-free kind of gleam, from the fridge to the stove to the dishwasher.
9. A multi-surface scrub cleaner you can use to scour your kitchen counters, sink, *and* tub, and leave them smelling so fresh you might just start hanging out in the kitchen for the heck of it.
10. Plus a set of three adorable, machine-washable Swedish dish cloths that are super absorbent and designed with a cross-hatch pattern for easier scrubbing. Each one of these can replace over a DOZEN paper towel rolls. The Brawny paper towel man is shaking.
Now let’s tackle the bathrooms and laundry areas, y’all.
11. A set of brush and flush toilet tabs made with baking soda that’ll fizz up in your toilet for 10 minutes and make it super easy for you to brush away the gunk.
12. A pumice stone that will instantly make the inside of your toilet look brand-spanking-new, even if the rings have already thwarted your efforts with the toilet brush.
13. A power scrubber brush you can attach to a DRILL (!!) that basically does all of the hard grime-busting on shower doors and bathroom floors before you can break a sweat.
14. A bottle of Goo Gone for instantly banishing all those mysterious gooey, sticky, tough-to-scrub stains, like toothpaste and shampoo residue.
15. A mold and mildew removal gel you can leave on the offending spots for six hours, then wipe away like nothing nefarious ever grew there in the first place.
16. A drain snake you can funnel into your shower drain that honestly works a little *too* well at unclogging hair, pulling it up in one fast (and semi-horrifying) go.
17. A bottle of jetted tub cleaner so easy to use that literally all you have to do is run your bath water, pour in the cleaner, and run your jets.
18. A heavy duty grout cleaner you only need to let sit for 10 minutes before you slide the dirt and grime in all those sneaky crevices like it’s your superpower.
19. A set of washing machine cleaning tablets that’ll tackle that weird mold + mildew smell in one cycle. Your laundry will come out so fresh that you’ll hold your nose up to it like you’re auditioning to play “Human In Scented Detergent Commercial.”
20. A hard-water stain remover to spare you hours of fruitless scrubbing (and spare your poor eyeballs the cringe of seeing a stain massacre every time you open your shower curtain).
Next up are the bedrooms and the living room!
21. A broom for pet and human hair that can work on any type of floor, but is specifically designed to pull it up from the carpet faster and deeper than even a lot of vacuums can reach. Time to find out what color your carpet’s *actually* been the whole time!
22. A pet urine stain-removing spray that instantly tackles both old and new stains *plus* the funky smell, so you can enjoy your Bath & Body Works candles without the vague top notes of cat pee.
23. A fast-acting carpet spot-removing spray to take care of those miscellaneous stains from a previous tenant or that not-so-miscellaneous time you spilled half of the red sauce from your leftover noodles facedown on the floor.
24. A carpet and upholstery cleaner with a fabric-safe brush attached to quickly rub all those old mystery stains out of your couches, chairs, and carpets.
25. A red wine stain-removing spray to pick up both old and new red wine stains from carpets, couches, towels, and fabrics in a matter of minutes, so now even your white duvet is safe from your cabernet’s clutches.
26. A lightweight vacuum that’s a heavy-hitter when it comes to quick cleaning — this sucker is designed to get into nooks and crannies, and equipped with three nozzles so you can use it to tackle all those hard-to-reach spots under furniture, in corners, and on stairways.
27. Plus a carpet cleaning solution that will dig in so deep your carpets will look like they’re in a model home.
And now that the rooms are spick and span, let’s tackle the windows and hard-to-reach messes.
28. A vinegar-based, streak-free glass and window cleaner so the sunlight can stream into your space without a bunch of weird mystery smudges and streaks.
29. Plus a set of reusable, streak-free microfiber cloths to tackle windows and other glass surfaces with. (Bonus — these can also clean glass surfaces with *just* water.)
30. A squishy universal dust cleaner that will get into all your space’s nooks and crannies, like keyboards and AC units and the vents in the back of your printer. Take that, dust.
31. A super effective extendable feather duster to reach all the leftover weird spaces, like the ceiling fan or your window blinds.
And a bonus, for all you overachievers out there: an all-purpose car upholstery cleaner so you can go to town on the interior of your car and lift up all the stains in one deeply satisfying go.
You once the mess is finally taken care of and your space is all sparkly and clean:
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