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Ranking Discontinued Australian Foods From “Keep It” To “I Need This Back In My Life”

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Ranking Discontinued Australian Foods From “Keep It” To “I Need This Back In My Life”

17. Thorpedo

Statis Beverages / Via statisbeverages.com.au, Patrick Riviere / Getty Images

Isha: I never tried the ~Thorpedo~ drinks as a kid and I’m kind of glad I didn’t because it…just looks like water??? I’ll pass on this one, although I will permit myself a laugh at Ian Thorpe’s very ’00s get-up. 1/10

Hameda: When these were introduced in my canteen, chaos ensued. The squeezy tops made for perfect weapons and honestly, we were soaked by second period. Plus, they didn’t even taste good — if you’re going to drink water, just bloody drink water. 1/10

Nostalgic ranking: 1

16. Hubba Bubba Squeeze Pop

Amazon, @ericaa_dawnn18 / Via Twitter: @ericaa_dawnn18

Isha: Okay, I was a Hubba Bubba fan, but I have no recollection of these weird Squeeze Pops. They look like melted lolly goo and who needs that in their life? The answer is no one. 1/10

Hameda: When I look at these tubes, my entire mouth and teeth hurt. They were literally just melted gummy bears and while that sounds great in theory, the sticky mess they left behind was just unnecessary. Hubba Bubba was and continues to be iconic, but these can stay put. 2/10

Nostalgic ranking: 1.5

15. Space Food Sticks

@mrmo81 / Via instagram.com, @billie_grace / Via instagram.com

Isha: Let’s be honest, these did not…taste great. But they were ~space food~, so of course they earned you instant street cred at school. Do I long to taste them again? Probably just once, so I can remember how weird of a texture those gunky, chocolate sticks were. 4/10

Hameda: I remember being so intrigued about these Space Food Sticks when I first saw some kid eating them on the playground. I think I swapped something to try one and was, well, promptly disappointed. We don’t need these back. 3/10

Nostalgic ranking: 3.5

14. Tiny Teddy Dippers

Mr Beanery / Via mrbeanery.blogspot.com

Isha: Tbh, these were nowhere near the top-tier level of Dunkaroos. But it was cute and fun to make them go “swimming” in their little, chocolate pond. 4/10

Hameda: Okay, so when Isha first mentioned these to me, I was confused about what they were. But now that I’m looking at the pictures, I definitely remember them! In saying that, I would probably reach for Dunkaroos instead. Sorry, teddies. 5/10

Nostalgic ranking: 4.5

13. Bertie Beetle

@thecandywrapperpimlico / Via instagram.com, @tibby01 / Via instagram.com

Isha: I’m pretty sure Bertie Beetles still exist as a showbag at the Easter Show, but I swear they used to be a dime a dozen. Like, you could pop to the local shops and get some, no? They’re good, solid, yum, but I don’t find myself going crazy over them. It’s more the ~nostalgia~ factor that makes it for me. 5.5/10

Hameda: I look at this picture of Bertie Beetles and a twinge of excitement forms in my gut, which genuinely surprises me because I don’t actually remember ever eating one of these. Unless I did and my memory is just shot. Either way, I’m sure I’d be fine with a Freddo. 4/10

Nostalgic ranking: 4.75

12. Snackabouts

Kraft, @the__squealer / Via instagram.com

Isha: Oh, Snackabouts! These were fun and they came with that little plastic spreader, so you could achieve the perfect ratio of Vegemite to slightly stale, heavily processed biscuit. I don’t really care for them being brought back though — they’re definitely more of a growing up sort of snack. 5/10

Hameda: As someone with immigrant parents, my mother didn’t quite understand the importance of Vegemite. So, instead of being able to nom on these bad boys, I was stuck with the sad LeSnak. Still, I can imagine how delicious they’d be. 6/10

Nostalgic ranking: 5.5

11. Dixie Drumstix

Ciara Mortimer / Via change.org, @90skidsAustralia / Via instagram.com

Isha: It was extremely rude of Nabisco to get rid of one of my favourite biscuit (biskit?) flavours of all time. Yes, it was EXTREMELY salty, but that’s what made it so good and moreish and yum. Shame, now I’m sad because I’ve made myself crave what I will never have again. 8.5/10

Hameda: I am and always have been more of a Chicken Crimpy kind of gal, which means that I only got to taste Dixie Drumstixs a handful of times. Do I regret that? No, because Chicken Crimpy biccies rule and these can stay in the bin. 5/10

Nostalgic ranking: 6.75

10. M&M’s Biscuit

Mars / Via Twitter: @daikonie

Isha: Holy crap, these random biscuit things were next level. I only got to try them because my friend somehow wrangled her parents into allowing her to have these as a lunchbox snack. And there was a Twix flavour too??? Although, I guess we have Pods now and those are very good, so maybe I don’t need these as badly as I think I do. 7/10

Hameda: I like how they lovingly scrawled “biscuit” on the packaging of these when they’re quite literally a bar of chocolate (nice try, guys). That being said, my mum never let me have these and I want them in my mouth so BRING. THEM. BACK. 7/10

Nostalgic ranking: 7

9. Bugz

Nestle

Isha: Please tell me I’m not the only one who remembers Bugz?! They were ice blocks filled with gummies and were the absolute shit. Mmm, I’m just thinking about how good these would taste if you melted them down and added a splash of vodka. 8.5/10

Hameda: Was I asleep while half of these products were on sale? I don’t remember these at all. Still, an ice lolly with gummies in it sounds amazing, so I would say yes to bringing these back. 6/10

Nostalgic ranking: 7.25

8. Incredibites

Nestle

Isha: Nothing — and I repeat — NOTHING was better than opening your lunchbox to find a pack of Incredibites back in the day. They were crunchy, chocolate-filled goodness — and it would take me less than 10 seconds to devour a whole packet if I had some right now. 9/10

Hameda: Look, I’m going to have to be honest here — I’ve never heard of these before in my life. Is that chocolate mascot dude supposed to be the Beast? Either way, they look like premium snacks that I would like in my belly. 6/10

Nostalgic ranking: 7.5

7. Milo bar

Facebook: Bring Back The Original ‘Milo’ Bar / Via Facebook: BringBackTheOriginalMiloBar, Nestle

Isha: Look, let’s not get it twisted — Milo bars exist now, but they are very, very different to the OG version I coveted as a kid. The new ones are ~healthy~, while the original was pure Milo powder covered in chocolate. It was, quite frankly, fucking delicious and needs to be brought back ASAP. 8.5/10

Hameda: Milo cereal has nothing on this ridiculously delicious snack and I’m quite horrified that someone made the decision to take these away from us. Sugar rush aside, it’d be un-Australian not to bring these back. 7/10

Nostalgic ranking: 7.75

6. Toobs

@miss_red_emz / Via instagram.com, Kham Tran / Via commons.wikimedia.org

Isha: Man, Toobs were SO underrated. They looked like a boring ass version of Cheezels, but then you had a bite and got that delish tomato flavour. Plus, they were so airy, you could eat an entire packet in one sitting — or at least, that’s what I did. 8/10

Hameda: I didn’t even know Toobs were discontinued until we decided to do this list, but I’m shocked and offended that they no longer exist. 8/10

Nostalgic ranking: 8

5. Sunnyboy

@fromonemum / Via Twitter: @fromonemum, @TheOnlyLongy / Via Twitter: @TheOnlyLongy

Isha: If there’s one thing that defined the summer school holidays in Australia, it was hopelessly trying to slurp a Sunnyboy without it getting all over your fingers. A simpler time perhaps, but I would very much still like to enjoy one at the beach. 8/10

Hameda: How do we live in a world where Sunnyboys aren’t a thing? What do children suck on during a ridiculously hot day without these on offer? No, I’m genuinely asking. For the Orange Explosion alone, I award these guys a 8.5/10.

Nostalgic ranking: 8.25

4. Burgerman

@AMcPlant / Via Twitter: @AMcPlant, Facebook: Bring Back Burger Man Chips / Via Facebook: bringbackburgerman

Isha: I distinctly remember my high school canteen stocking these before they had a ~healthy~ revamp. They were tasty, I’ll give them that — but I think my tongue felt a bit funny if I ate too many. No, just me? Ah, cool. 7/10

Hameda: My high school experience would be totally different without Burgerman. In fact, I feel terrible for the Gen Z teens who will be unable to experience the pure bliss of biting one of their heads off when they discover Ben M is two-timing them with Sarah H. 10/10.

Nostalgic ranking: 8.5

3. Samboy chips

@burfordwife / Via instagram.com, @axeljump10 / Via instagram.com

Isha: Oh yes, I rated these very highly and was unaware that they didn’t exist anymore??? How dare you, Mr Samboy. Give me back that Atomic Tomato goodness, please. 9/10

Hameda: Holy crap, Samboy chippies were the absolute BEST. The tomato flavour was ZESTY and DELICIOUS. It was so disappointing seeing them off the chip aisle, so you best believe I want them back. 9/10

Nostalgic ranking: 9

2. Calippo Shots

Streets, @SpaceMonsterr / Via Twitter: @SpaceMonsterr

Isha: Every time I see a picture of these, I long to put on my “Karen” wig and write a sternly-worded letter to Streets, asking them to bring back Calippo Shots so I can finally fulfil my dream of being the cool kid that chugs these during summer. 9/10

Hameda: The nostalgia I feel when I look at these sweet, cold, sugary balls is overwhelming. I honestly don’t understand how they haven’t brought these babies back yet, but you better believe I’ll be right at the servo the day Streets announces their return. 9.5/10

Nostalgic ranking: 9.25

1. Paddle Pop Frozen Thickshake

Streets, @bossbitch_xx / Via instagram.com

Isha: These were — hands down — top shit. They ruled the canteens and the petrol station runs where your parents would allow you to get an ice cream from the fridge. Like sure, a Paddle Pop on its own was great, but that Frozen Thickshake was *Italian chef’s kiss*. 10/10

Hameda: If Paddle Pops are top tier, these Thickshakes were GOD TIER. I’m offended that Streets got rid of them. They were the absolute best accompaniment to a day at the beach and generally the only time I’d be allowed to have one. 10/10

Nostalgic ranking: 10

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