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22 Quotes From The Movie “Armageddon” That Make Me Laugh More Than Any Comedy Ever Could

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22 Quotes From The Movie “Armageddon” That Make Me Laugh More Than Any Comedy Ever Could

“Friggin’ outer space.”

My mother and I recently watched the 1998 movie Armageddon for the first time. It’s a Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer venture, so, yikes and ayo in equal measure. We had the time of our lives.

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Also, weirdly, Owen Wilson is in it, and Steve Buscemi plays a pedophile? Comments like, “She never told me her age” are thrown around.

The premise of the movie is that a meteor is going to destroy Earth…unless oil drillers drill into it, drop a nuclear bomb, and then blow it up from the inside. You read all of that correctly.

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It’s here I should mention much of the plot is eerily similar to Deep Impact, a better movie – if we’re judging based on quality and not wow factor.

Considering the outrageousness of the plot, you may not be surprised to learn that there are some similarly ridiculous lines and moments in the movie. Here are some that particularly stuck out to me as I went on this wild ride.

1.

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2.

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WHAT DOES 3% OF THE SKY MEAN? I guess it’s gotta mean space, so what is 3% of space and how in God’s name are you able to track it with only one million dollars?

3.

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That’s a huge and oddly brand-specific range.

4.

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“Trying,” bro.

5.

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Ah, yes, the scientific name.

6.

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I want to learn everything about her childhood.

7.

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Amazing. I wish there were a montage of him drilling in super specific, impossible locations, like at the top of a dormant volcano and in a Target dressing room.

8.

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HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?! I love it.

9.

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Big nuts? I know it’s a movie thing, but is that honestly a thing people with – to use Armageddon‘s phrase – nuts think about? Because, if so, why at all?

10.

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It’s 29 words.

11.

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There’s a lot here. “Downtown NASA,” first of all. Also, Monster Armadillo sounds like a Fall Out Boy song I would 100% listen to.

12.

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I will never get over the premise of this movie.

13.

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What a mindset you must be in to say that in a rocket.

14.

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I could talk about this for hours.

15.

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Robot. Just say robot.

16.

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So they’re past the beginning part of space now. Also, “friggin’.”

17.

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Imagine this in any other context.

18.

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WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?!

19.

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20.

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Okay, they’ve been up there for, at most, two and a half days. How would this have happened already? Also, is “space dementia” an accurate term? My gut says hard no.

21.

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It’s seven words.

22. And finally…

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This movie is so much and so little at the same.

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