Love isn’t always about butterflies and skipped heartbeats. It isn’t always about feeling nervous and sweaty and desperate to impress. Love isn’t always an adrenaline rush, a roller coaster ride, a series of rises and falls that make you feel desperately human, intoxicatingly alive.
Most of the time, love is comfortable, especially when you’ve been together for a while, when you know each other inside and out, when you become best friends and life partners.
Love is comfortable once you realize this person admires the deepest parts of yourself, the parts you usually keep smothered and hidden from the rest of the universe, the parts you reserve for the people who have earned a permanent home in your heart.
Love is about feeling comfortable in silence. You should feel comfortable during those moments when you’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, reading or scrolling through your phone or playing video games. You should feel comfortable when you’ve both had long days and are too exhausted to talk and are sitting at the dinner table sharing a warm meal.
You should feel comfortable when you’re snuggled up in bed with your bodies pressed close together and your breathing starts to sync. You should feel comfortable when this other person is beside you, holding your hand or squeezing your thigh or simply existing in your peripherals. You should be comfortable knowing they are there for you and aren’t going anywhere, no matter what the world brings.
Love is about feeling comfortable in conversations. You should feel comfortable talking about the mundane details of your day, even though it might be boring to anyone else, even though you might feel silly for caring so much over matters so small. You should feel comfortable discussing topics that you avoid with anyone else, about your hopes and fears and sex and the future. You should feel comfortable getting into playful debates about your favorite music and novels and artwork and cinema.
You should feel comfortable showing this person your true, authentic self without hiding the bits and pieces you consider undesirable. You should be comfortable opening up to them about anything and everything because they aren’t going to judge.
Love is about feeling comfortable with another human being, connected to another soul. It’s about knowing your heart is in good hands and will be treated with delicacy. It’s about knowing you can relax, let your hair down, and stop worrying about being abandoned out of the blue because your person is forever tethered to you.
Love is about having a constant, having a supporter in your corner, having no doubt in your mind that you aren’t alone and never will be again.
Love can feel wild and untamed at times. It can make your chest ache and your stomach flutter. However, it can also be comfortable. It can give you a sense of peace and belonging. It can steady your heartbeats and relax your shoulders. It can make you feel like you’ve finally found home.