When you love someone, you can’t pick and choose which sides of yourself to show them. You can’t expect them to believe you’re always in a good mood, nothing bothers you, and you never do anything wrong. You can’t hide your flaws forever — and you shouldn’t want to hide them. You should be excited you’ve found someone who wants to know you, completely.
In the beginning of the relationship, you might be able to get away with putting on a show — but you’re eventually going to need to lower your guard. You’re going to need to show them the real, authentic you.
If you want this person to act as your teammate, and to be there through it all, then they’re eventually going to see you at your lowest. They’re going to be there when you’re crying your eyes out, when you’re fuming with anger, when you’re feeling insecure about your body, when you’re afraid, when you’re uncomfortable, when you’re happy and sad and all the emotions in between.
Your person is going to get to know you even better than you know yourself. That might be a scary thought, but if you’re with the right person, they aren’t going to run away when things get messy. They’re going to encourage you to open up to them. They’re going to be relieved you trust them enough to show them the pieces of yourself you hide from the rest of the universe.
Loving someone means showing them your most authentic self, even though you’re used to doing the opposite. You’re used to playing pretend. You’re used to claiming you’re fine even when you’re dying inside. You’re used to shrugging away help because you don’t want to be a bother. You’re used to pretending everything is great in order to protect the people you love the most.
But when you’re in a committed relationship, hiding things from your partner isn’t protecting them. It’s harming them — and harming the beautiful bond you’ve built. You need to be honest with them, even when it’s intimidating, even when the conversation hurts.
Your person needs to know that you aren’t keeping any secrets from them. They need to know you are being completely transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. They need to know you aren’t lying to them about anything, whether big or small, because once your trust is shattered, the relationship is going to have a hard time recovering.
When you love someone, you need to show them the real, unfiltered you. You need to trust them when they say they love you for exactly who you are. You don’t need to pretend in order to impress them. You don’t need to put on a show in order to keep them in your life.
Loving someone means showing them your most authentic self. It means opening up to them, even though it would be easier to keep your feelings to yourself. It means allowing them into your heart and trusting they won’t let it break.