Just because you’ve been with someone for a long time and have been through a lot together doesn’t mean you need to stay with that person for the rest of your life. You can remove yourself from the situation. You can start fresh. You can say goodbye and see where the future takes you.
You’re not obligated to remain in your relationship. You’re not a bad person for walking away from everything you used to think you wanted.
Right now, you might feel like it doesn’t matter whether you’re happy. You might feel like, no matter what is running through your head, you don’t really have a choice about staying or leaving. You might feel like you’re forced to remain with your partner — whether it’s because you already made a serious commitment to them, or because they help you pay the bills, or because you have children together, or because you have nowhere else to stay if you left them.
However, you aren’t as stuck as you feel. You always have a choice. You can always make a change. You might not be able to pick up and leave today, without warning, but you can come up with a plan. You can prepare yourself to get out of this situation so you’re able to leave safely.
Remember, you don’t have to stay in a relationship where you feel uncomfortable. You’re not obligated to stick around if they’re treating you poorly. You don’t owe them any more of your time or your attention. You’ve given them enough of it already. You’ve tried to make this relationship work for so long, and there’s nothing more you can do. You can’t be the only person trying. You can’t be the only one putting in the work.
Right now, you might feel like living your life without this person is impossible. You might feel like your lives are so tied together that it’s impossible to pull them apart. You might feel like you can’t do anything now because it’s too late and what’s done is done.
But you don’t have to walk around, filled with regrets. You have the power to change your situation. You can remove yourself from this toxic cycle.
It might feel selfish to leave. It might feel scary, too. You might not know how you’re going to support yourself without your partner. You might not know how you’re going to get through the day without their emotional support, either. But you are more capable than you realize. You can survive on your own. And when you’re struggling, you can lean on family and friends. You are allowed to ask for help.
Remember, you’re never trapped in your toxic relationship. You’re never obligated to stay with someone, simply because you promised them forever in the past. Feelings evolve. Circumstances change. If you aren’t happy, then you owe it to yourself to leave. It might be the hardest thing you ever do, and it might be a while until you’re able to venture out on your own, but it will be worth it once you’re yourself again.